It only takes one person to create peace.
The use of good communication skills will usually entice a reciprocal
response. These skills can be used by either the high-power or
low-power person.
The most important thing to remember is to become
aware of the way we communicate. Knowing how others perceive you
will help you to respond to them or to clarify your intent. Observation
is more than just observing what they say. Nonverbal communication
clues can give you insights to what they are feeling even if they can't
or aren't expressing it. Knowing your own prejudices should enable
you to predetermine what you need to be aware of when you are in a situation
that could prompt you to offend another.
Realize that emotions cause people to enter
into an altered state. Their personal power has to alter its course,
usually turning it to negative energy. To get to the heart of
the conflict without escalating it, you need to express emotions and
encourage others to feel safe in expressing their emotions. If
someone expresses an emotion, you need to validate that emotion.
Don't tell people that they "shouldn't feel that way."
Emotions are real.
In our fast paced society, people often don't
want to take the time to explain themselves or to listen closely to
another. To listen actively you can do several things like nod
your head, repeat important factors, or paraphrase their statements
and ask if what you thought they said was what they really meant.
Listening to another person will give you clues
as to how to solve your conflict so that you both the get what you really
need. Steven Covey (1989) said "Seek first to understand,
then to be understood." Listen for what they really want,
and then use the information to order their environment so that both
people can have their interests met. People can combine their
positive energy to create an abundance of possibilities that would satisfy
everyone's needs.