Communication and Power
 Positive Communication

It only takes one person to create peace.  The use of good communication skills will usually entice a reciprocal response.  These skills can be used by either the high-power or low-power person.  

The most important thing to remember is to become aware of the way we communicate.  Knowing how others perceive you will help you to respond to them or to clarify your intent.  Observation is more than just observing what they say.  Nonverbal communication clues can give you insights to what they are feeling even if they can't or aren't expressing it.  Knowing your own prejudices should enable you to predetermine what you need to be aware of when you are in a situation that could prompt you to offend another. 

 Realize that emotions cause people to enter into an altered state.  Their personal power has to alter its course, usually turning it to negative energy.  To get to the heart of the conflict without escalating it, you need to express emotions and encourage others to feel safe in expressing their emotions.  If someone expresses an emotion, you need to validate that emotion.  Don't tell people that they "shouldn't feel that way."  Emotions are real.   

In our fast paced society, people often don't want to take the time to explain themselves or to listen closely to another.  To listen actively you can do several things like nod your head, repeat important factors, or paraphrase their statements and ask if what you thought they said was what they really meant.    

Listening to another person will give you clues as to how to solve your conflict so that you both the get what you really need.  Steven Covey (1989) said "Seek first to understand, then to be understood."  Listen for what they really want, and then use the information to order their environment so that both people can have their interests met.  People can combine their positive energy to create an abundance of possibilities that would satisfy everyone's needs.

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